evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
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This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
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Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
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