I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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