By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize