U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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