I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize