Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
