There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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