i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
