i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
