The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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