I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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