tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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