i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
