dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
