i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
