you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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