Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
