sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
