You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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