You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
