Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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