I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
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We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
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Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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