no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
