Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
