Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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