pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
