She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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