I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
