soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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