I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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