Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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