Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
