He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She bit a glass in half.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
