Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
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The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
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He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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