I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
