I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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