Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
