I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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