I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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