just come out here and I will go home with you...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
