I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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