grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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