All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
