love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
MIDGETS
????
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
