I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
