i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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