he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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