how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
