Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize