home. puking in laundry basket.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
