hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
