Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
