I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
