I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
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