Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
