She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
