i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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