dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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