you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
