He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
