i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
