I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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