we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
