I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
