Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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