When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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