its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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