would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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