For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
found the other keg... it's in the tree
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I lost the right to judge tonight
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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