I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
