O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
4 words: hood of his car
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
